I got myself fired. For 24 hours I convinced myself I was getting the big ole boot. I was 100% convinced the meeting I had been “invited” to was to tell me my services were no longer needed and I could go on my merry way. I was ready for it. I did all that self talk shit: everything happens for a reason, something else was just around the corner, one door closes another one opens, blah blah blah.
I currently run my own business and love all that it has to bring; challenges, independence, creativity, abundance, bills, etc. part of the business is partnering with other programs and creating contracts essentially where they hire me and B FREE to provide our service. I bring all the energy and healing I have to each of these places as I do treat them as true business partners that I respect.
I got a text message from an executive director of one of them stating something about incomplete paperwork and our continued collaboration together. My brain immediately went to that dark place- what didn’t I do? What did I say? What did I fuck up? I immediately began to feel guilty about running around too much, working too many places, spreading myself to thin so that I wasn’t following through on the details of each job. My brian was tormented with thoughts of how could I let this happen? What was wrong with me? I even began to figure out how I was going to come up with the money that would now be lost from loosing this contract.
I talked with some friends about this who all had varied opinions. Some thought I was overreacting, some thought I should have just completed the paperwork and I wouldn’t be in this position. Some just laughed. After much stress and craziness in my head I finally just said out loud to the universe: “okay I embrace whatever this experience is and accept it with open loving arms.”
I get to this meeting greeted by a smiling face and a hug. I had done nothing wrong. They wanted to check in with me to see how things were going and how to help expand the program and incorporate it more into the curriculum. There had been some paperwork that did need follow-up, but was by no means a threat to my business or myself. The meeting was actually very lovely and I left there laughing my ass off about the crazy story my own mind made up and believed to be so real. HA!
Here is what is so funny about a life coach writing this: 1. I had just posted some motivational post about getting after positivity and to stop over thinking shit. 2. I teach this type of lesson to people every day. I you had called me freaking out about that text I would have told you to breathe, slow down, read the text again, slowly- and to not make meaning of anything that you didn’t know was true for sure. 3. I just led a two-hour workshops about stepping into your power and not letting your brain be your bitch.
I made meaning that I was getting canned because the communication came from the executive director, not the other staff person I usually work with. I made meaning of the text and combined the two statements of incomplete paperwork being connected to an invitation about a conversation about the continued collaboration together. I made meaning out of my own anxiety. Turns out, the staff member I usually work with was out on leave and the executive director was covering and multi tasking by sending a text to basically just touch base and see how we could all work better together and increase my involvement.
WTF?! I believed all those crazy stories in my head!!! I can’t stop laughing about it now and needed to share with you just in case your brain is your bitch sometimes too. There is and was no need for me to spend 24 hours so stressed, so tired so in pain about nothing. The good news is, I do know the universe has my back and I was prepared for the meeting with love and open arms no matter what it was. Years ago, I would let my brain become such a bitch I would find a reason to drink over getting fired: EVEN BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENED. That my friends, is a true story.
What a beautiful lesson I got to learn and remind myself of. I invite you to do the same. Stay in the love, forgive yourself, let it all unfold as it supposed to and for fuck sake, tame that bitch!
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No one judges us more than ourselves!
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